This kind of relates to last weekend’s post about work-life balance and burning out.
I moved here expecting that I could just pick up where I left off in Fredericton, working out and painting everyday and that it would be fine. What I forgot about was that back when I finished work, I told myself that I deserved some time off before school started so that I could rejuvenate and mentally prepare myself for the challenges ahead. I was looking forward to taking some time off from everything for myself.
What I’ve done instead was spend all my free time unpacking, cleaning, finding walking routes and making up workouts for myself, all while trying to fit painting and drawing in between those things. Doesn’t sound much like a vacation, does it?
I’m the kind of person that needs to feel like I’m doing something to earn my keep, so relaxing all day while Tim is at work almost makes me feel a bit guilty, though I have no logical reason to feel that way. It’s going to take awhile for me to adjust to this new lifestyle. I’ve worked long and hard to get to where I am today, and I deserve a break before things get crazy again.
I haven’t been feeling my greatest and finally figured out that maybe, just maybe, I was pushing myself too hard. For the past few days I’ve done almost nothing but sleep in, watch TV and relax. I’m feeling a bit better but tried painting today, only to meet frustration. I’m so fed up with the model painting at this point that I’ve turned it to face the wall just so I don’t have to look at it. At this point, it feels like I can do no right with it so it’s probably better not to touch it for awhile.
So, when you meet up with a creative block like this, how to you get past it? I don’t have the answer yet but hope to find it soon. I’m hoping that school will help me sort things out, when I’m given hard deadlines to finish things rather than just doing projects whenever I feel like it.
I do know that I’ll likely spend a lot of next week relaxing as well. I didn’t really anticipate the shock it would be to go from 9-5 to having so much time to myself. Hopefully I’ll feel like taking another crack at the model painting maybe tomorrow, or in a few more days.
Any other artists out there feel my pain? How have you gotten over creative hurdles?